The A+ Introvert - Stop Small Talk: Make One Strong Connection

A 4-step guide that helps introverts trade noise for real influence.

Author

Steven Claes
May 03, 2025 • Reading Time: 5 minutes

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Hey!

Welcome to the second edition of The A+ Introvert!

We have an interesting one this week.

Before you step into another noisy meet-and-greet, know this: studies show that one thoughtful conversation strengthens your well-being more than a handful of small-talk exchanges.

In this issue you’ll learn a simple four-step method to prepare, start, and close meaningful chats.

This is designed for introverts who prefer depth over volume. All tips are backed by research, through my own experience as an introvert, and can be done in five minutes or less.

Today’s Focus:

  • Deep questions beat small talk.

  • One quality conversation > ten handshakes.

  • Follow-up questions build instant trust.

Why We’re Covering Networking

Large events often drain introverts, yet relationships still shape career growth.

HBR notes that planning your approach before an event helps introverts feel in control and engage with purpose.

A 2024 update adds that small, steady actions (rather than personality changes) drive better networks.

❝

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing; a creative force that re-charges us.

Brenda Ueland

The A+ Quiet Connect Method

1. Prepare (2 min)

  • Read a speaker’s or attendee’s recent post, LinkedIn profile or project description. Knowing one detail lets you open with relevance and lowers first-talk worry.

  • Write one clear goal: learn about their project, share a useful article for that person, or set a future call.

2. Open with a Deep Question

Start with “What project has you excited this month?” Deep questions create richer talks and boost happiness compared with surface chat. They also help both sides feel the time was worthwhile.

3. Use Follow-Up Questions

Harvard research shows that asking even one follow-up question raises how likable and trustworthy you appear.

A quick loop:

  1. Echo a keyword (“You mentioned the new launch…”).

  2. Ask “What made that challenging?”

  3. Reflect back what you heard in one sentence.

4. Close with a Micro-Commitment

Wrap up by suggesting a simple next step like sharing a useful link, sending a quick LinkedIn voice note, or offering a helpful introduction. Keep it natural and low-effort. A short voice note, for instance, feels warm and takes almost no energy.

End with a clear next step (“I’ll email that link tomorrow”).

One-conversation rule: aim for one solid talk per event. Quality beats quantity for introverted energy.

Quiet Fuel of the Week

Tool: LinkedIn Voice Messages

Adds personal tone without video fatigue.

Read: Quiet Influence – Jennifer Kahnweiler

Shows how low-key actions sway decisions.

Explains why honest sharing builds trust.

This Week’s 5-Minute Newsletter Challenge

  1. Pick one contact you respect.

  2. Send a short note using the deep question opener.

  3. Ask one follow-up within two days.

On Friday, write one sentence about how that felt compared with small talk.

I’m taking on this challenge with you this week. As a plus, the first person to share their insight with me gets a free 30-minute networking call. Game on!

Reply to this email with your insight; three will appear next week.

Thank you to everyone who replied last week! These three stood out:

Reader One: “I noticed I get tense whenever I skip lunch.”

Reader Two: “Writing showed me I talk myself out of ideas too fast.”

Reader Three: “I learned I feel proud after helping a teammate, even on rough days”

What’s Next

The Power of Pause: How introverts use reflection to make better decisions.

Final Thoughts

One prepared question, one real follow-up, and one small promise to keep can move your career further than a pocketful of business cards.

If a networking event starts to feel too loud, pause, listen with intent. Then, close the loop: send that voice note or helpful link; follow-through is where relationships grow.

Thanks for showing up! Together we’ll keep turning focused moments into meaningful results!

— Steven

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