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Steven Claes – The A+ Introvert - The 3-Word Trick That Saved My Team
Turn Awkward Feedback into Real Trust in 5 Minutes.
Steven Claes
August 02, 2025 • Reading Time: 6 minutes
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Hey there friend!
I used to be the manager who avoided difficult conversations like the plague.
You know the type…
The one who'd rather write a passive-aggressive email than have a face-to-face chat about performance issues.
Years ago, that almost costed me a talented team member.
Sarah was struggling with client calls. Other managers would have labeled her "not a good fit" and moved on.
I then remembered something that changed everything.
Three words: Observe. Ask. Offer.
That's it.
No corporate jargon.
No performance improvement plans.
Just three simple words that turned a potential firing into a success story.
Here's what happened...
Instead of saying: "Sarah, you need to improve your communication skills."
I tried: "Sarah, I noticed you paused for about 30 seconds before asking follow-up questions yesterday. What made that part tricky for you?"
She opened up. Turns out, she was overthinking every question, worried about sounding unprofessional. Classic introvert move (I've been there).
Then I offered: "What if we created a list of go-to questions you can reference? Let's review it together Friday."
The result? Her next call flowed naturally. The client sent a thank-you note.
Feedback done right builds skill and trust.
Today’s Focus
Why vague feedback kills motivation
Observe → Ask → Offer: your new feedback script
A 5-day challenge to practice this week
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Why This Works for Introverts
Most feedback feels like an attack. This approach feels like collaboration.
You're not fixing someone. You're understanding them first. Then you're solving a problem together.
Perfect for introverts who hate confrontation but love thoughtful solutions.
About 70% of employees work harder when they feel their efforts are recognized and guided (Research: LinkedIn).
Yet, only 26% strongly agree the feedback they receive helps them improve (Research: Gallup).
Clear, timely feedback lifts performance and engagement, and reduces turnover. Precise guidance beats vague praise or criticism every time.
The Observe → Ask → Offer Method
Step | How to Do It | Why It Works |
Observe | Describe the exact behavior you saw. “In the client demo, you skipped slide 3.” | Facts, not labels (keeps the talk calm). |
Ask | Invite their view. “What happened there?” | Shows respect, uncovers context you may not know. |
Offer | Suggest or agree on one concrete next step. “Add slide 3 next time; I’ll review it with you beforehand.” | Moves from talk to action. |
Your pocket script: Observe the fact → Ask for insight → Offer one step.
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Quiet Fuel of the Week
Resource | What It Is | Why You Need It |
|---|---|---|
Tool | One-page Situation-Behavior-Impact for specific feedback | |
Read | Thanks for the Feedback – Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen | How to give (and receive) feedback without defensiveness |
Watch | The secret to giving great feedback – TED Talk | Why caring feedback sparks growth |
Your 5-Day Challenge
Mon: Pick one teammate who could use clear feedback (not urgent, just helpful).
Tue: Draft your Observe statement; one sentence, pure fact.
Wed: Schedule a five‑minute chat; use Ask to learn their view.
Thu: Agree on one Offer step; write it down.
Fri: Email me: “Feedback on ___ led to ___.”
Track this: Did the task or behavior improve within a week? Note even small gains.
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Coming Next Week
Recognition Routines - Boost Engagement in 90 Seconds
Quick, genuine praise habits that lift morale and keep performance climbing.
Final Thoughts
Feedback shouldn't bruise; it should guide.
Observe the behavior. Ask for their view. Offer a clear next step.
Three lines, five minutes, better performance.
Try it once this week and let me know how it goes. I read/respond to every reply.
Stay clear, speak kindly, lead forward.
— Steven
P.S. Know a manager who avoids feedback chats? Forward this. A simple script makes the difference.
P.P.S. Want daily introvert leadership insights? Click here to connect with me directly.
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